"Mediocre" is a good addition to your anti-racist readings

This past weekend, I finished "Mediocre: The Dangerous Legacy of White Male America" by Ijeoma Oluo. I have not read her first book, "So You Want to Talk About Race," but I have read many other anti-racist books as a way to try and understand the workings of my country and be a better citizen and advocate in my work. I listened to this one on audiobook, as I do with almost all of my books.

"Mediocre" had many historical, recent, and personal anecdotes to support its thesis: Mainly, that continuing to refuse to address racial and gender inequality, and celebrate white male supremacy, is harmful to democracy, the economy and many other facets of American life. I agreed with a lot of what the book had to say, as I have witnessed and experienced the harms of white male supremacy at work in the world and in my personal and professional life, though most likely to a lesser extent as others. I still have white privilege. 

My SO, who listened to part of the book with me, said he found the part about Bernie Sanders' presidential run validating. I've always found it a little silly that any mild criticism of Sanders on Twitter leads to a mob of strangers complaining about health care for all in the replies. I've jokingly said he's like the Taylor Swift of politics, because the same thing happens with any mild criticism of Taylor Swift on Twitter as well. Want to make an offhanded comment about Star Wars? RIP, your mentions. Do these folks think that systematic pile-on harassment is going to suddenly make the target of their ire a lifelong fan? Will I suddenly begin listening to Taylor Swift on repeat because a stranger condescendingly calls me "sis," or begin marching in the streets for Medicare for all because some jerk posted a poorly drawn meme in my replies?  I'm not sure what the end goal is with this strange behavior. You don't need to make your interest in a person and their work your entire personality.

I don't think "Mediocre" is going to change any minds, or is meant to. I feel more and more that the divisions between political factions in this country grow deeper every day, to the point where two people might as well be living on separate planes of reality. There are many ways to find and read the news, and rather than reading broadly, people tend to gravitate toward news outlets that reinforce what they already believe.

I do think this book might add some reinforcement, talking points and validation for people who already agree that continuing to elevate white men and hold everyone to arbitrary, white, patriarchal standards will not help our country progress toward equal justice for everyone in any meaningful way. 

I still think "Stamped from the Beginning" by Ibram X. Kendi is the best book for changing minds, mainly because it holds the reader's hand through a telling of America's racist history. It continues to be amazing to me how the same old racist ideas mutate themselves like a virus and turn into the beliefs for a new generation of racists. It makes me feel a little hopeless, too, that we can't seem to evolve out of our own crummy thinking. 

A mild gripe with romance in young adult literature

I finished my second book for 2022 on Jan. 12. 

"Sabriel" by Garth Nix was published in 1998, and a few people in my high school read and enjoyed it. The premise of the book looked good to me, but I tried and failed to get through it at the time.

I listened to the audiobook, which is narrated by Tim Curry. The book is about a girl named Sabriel who can travel from the land of the living to the realm of the dead. She finds out her dad, Abhorsen, is trapped in death, and she begins her hero's journey to release him back to life. Along the way, she meets Mogget, a free-magic being trapped in a cat's body, and Touchstone, a young man who was turned into a wooden statue for 200 years. Sabriel releases him from his wooden form, and they go on to have a romance toward the end.

The romance was my only serious gripe about the book. "Sabriel" talked about death appropriately for  a teenage audience and contained some good themes about grief, coming of age, and letting go of the people we lose. And look, I know that technically Touchstone is not a 200-year-old man because he was in a sort of stasis and his life, maturity and mental state were put on pause for that time. But I'm honestly sick of young adult novels, even one as old as this one, pairing teenage girls with much, much older men. 

I think I've written about this before, and a more profound writer could probably better articulate my uneasiness with this theme. There's something grotesque and unsettling about eldritch beings latching on to young women and making it seem that in the centuries they've been alive they couldn't possibly find a more age-appropriate match. I'm not sure we should be feeding teen girls subtext that the predatory attention and admiration from older men is something to be treasured and encouraged. Once you notice it, you can't un-notice it! 

Thinking about reading Wheel of Time? Here's what you need to know about Robert Jordan's writing style, how the show is different, and more

My goal is to read 75 books in 2022. The first book I finished on audiobook was "Winter's Heart" by Robert Jordan, the 9th book in the Wheel of Time series, on Jan. 5. I've been reading this series off and on for about two years now. The 4th book, "A Shadow Rising," got me through my drive from Florida to Pennsylvania when I moved in June 2020. I've also recently finished watching the first season of Wheel of Time on Amazon Prime. 

I listen to Wheel of Time while knitting, and I've paired this series with my Knives Out sweater. I completed and published the pattern for it in August 2020 after seeing the Knives Out movie and reverse-engineering the pattern in November 2019, but I’m still chipping away at my own sweater. The cables make it slow-going, and I’m an inch of knitting away from finishing the back, with the front and one sleeve left to knit. I mostly put it aside last year to take on some commissions, but I’m ready to pick it up again.

After listening to nine of these books, I've picked up on some of the author's strange writing habits, some of which might reveal his less-than-progressive views of the world. If Wheel of Time were an episode of Jeopardy!, some of these could be entire categories. Thankfully, the Amazon Prime TV series strips away a lot of this, and it seems that throughout the process the showrunners were interested in refreshing and modernizing a lot of the antiquated sentiments in the narrative. 

Horses

Characters spend too much time thinking about horses, and the narrative lingers entirely too long on readying horses, riding horses, descriptions of horses and so on. Characters will stand in a stable and decide which horse they want to take on their adventure, and then there will be a description of what type of horse it is and its name and what its temperament is like. Readers who stay with Wheel of Time long enough know which named horses belong to the main characters. Egwene has Bela, Elayne has Fireheart, Faile and Perrin have Stepper and Swallow, and so on. 

Folksy sayings

One of the detriments to consuming these books entirely by audiobook is that I can't highlight the strange similes and folksy sayings Robert Jordan includes as part of his narration. I can't cite any of this for you. You'll just have to take my word for it! This is not about Siuan Sanche and her perpetual fish metaphors, though those are very funny. Instead of saying a character looks guilty, for instance, Jordan will write that someone looked "like guilt nailed to a wall." When I'm finished with the entire series, I might go back and read physical copies of these books, just to be able to pinpoint how odd and frequent these figures of speech occur.

Names of taverns

If you're a fantasy RPG writer, look no further for tavern name inspiration than Wheel of Time. There must be hundreds of inns and taverns, and each with its own unique name. 83 are listed on the Wheel of Time fan wiki.

Spanking & hazing

This is one of the most difficult things, in my opinion, about reading Wheel of Time. Corporal punishment, and threatening other adults with spanking, is a normal and accepted condition of living in Robert Jordan's world. Wheel of Time spans several sprawling continents, complete with unique cultures and customs. Yet, a common thread remains that it's perfectly fine to threaten others' lives with physical violence, and hazing is a normal part of joining a group of people. One of the main protagonists, Egwene, lives for a while with the desert-dwelling Aiel, misleading them by saying she's an Aes Sedai when she is only a novice. Once she admits this to them, they strip her naked and whip her with a belt, and then all is forgiven and they're all friends. 

I don't think adult sci-fi and fantasy should spare readers any brutality if it is called for, and this stretch of disturbing material did not unhinge my fragile sensibilities. It's ultimately just weird to live in the year 2022 and read a book with some enduring themes and progressive ideas, but still have other parts of the book that seem determined to live in the 1940s. Corporal punishment and domestic violence also are present in relationships between two married protagonists. I've written multiple screeds about the contentious relationship between Perrin and Faile. Some of it, I think, is rooted in old-fashioned cultural ideas on Jordan's part. The rampant hazing might have something to do with Jordan's time in the military. Yet other instances are just proof that Jordan really isn't that great at writing real people and human relationships.

Women, amirite?

Wheel of Time is set in a matriarchy, and in many of the cultures portrayed in the book, men are expected to defer to women. Yet there are many incidents where men take an exasperated tone with women and the decisions they make, and it's played as a joke. Expect a lot of eyerolling and quaint generalizations like: “Being married to a woman is like being trapped in a hornet’s nest: No matter how you move, you’ll get stung!”

Since Wheel of Time offers equal opportunity gender-based condescension, occasionally one of Jordan's female characters will say something like "Men are woolheads who do nothing but think with the hair on their chests!" Relationships between men and women tend to be portrayed as adversarial, and there's a reluctance to truly work together for a common interest, even when saving the world.

Braid pulling, skirt smoothing and shawl adjusting

These are just a few anxious tics some of the female characters have. The braid pulling is unique to Nynaeve, who is perpetually filled with rage (and I don't blame her!) 

Descriptions of coats

In later books, Jordan enjoys describing, in great detail, what characters are wearing, particularly their coats. Sometimes clothing is a signal for morality, and Jordan props up some old-fashioned ideas about the morality of women as it relates to how high or low the neckline of their dress is.

Conversations we can't hear

In "Eye of the World," there's a scene where Rand witnesses Moiraine speaking to Egwene about channeling. He doesn't hear the dialogue between the women, but we get a long description of facial expressions and body language. My suspicion is that Robert Jordan doesn't have a knack for writing conversations, but so often scenes will be narrated from the point of view of someone outside of the dialogue. It is desperately frustrating. 

Amazon Prime's Wheel of Time show

I loved the first season of Wheel of Time, as someone who is acutely aware of the books' shortcomings and had several bones to pick with some of the strange habits I outlined above. It's as though the TV show took all of the strange character tics, condescending proverbs about women, descriptions of horses, and Robert Jordan colloquialisms and threw them directly in the trash. We actually got to hear the sweet conversation where Nynaeve and Lan share their feelings with one another, rather than witnessing it from an outsider perspective! Moiraine spoke candidly about a time when a White Tower mentor tortured her to get her to channel, but it wasn't shown, nor did adults threaten to spank any other adults in the TV show! It felt fresh and brutal - there were definitely moments of violence - but nothing felt unnecessary or overdone (except for THAT CHOICE with Perrin, which I think a lot of viewers were upset by.)  

Our problematic faves: Do I want to continue?

Wheel of Time has a robust fan culture on Twitter, to the point where mild criticism is met with accusations of "shitposting." I don't think the problem is that Wheel of Time fans enjoy Wheel of Time. The problem is where all extreme fan culture lies: When fans get defensive about a work's more problematic elements and refuse to engage with them in a constructive way. Also, when fans think that the object of their fandom is pristine and perfect and get upset when they were not personally consulted on the choices in an Amazon Prime TV show (see also: Game of Thrones fans.) 

It turns out that there are other books and fantasy book series that are better than Wheel of Time! Fans of Harry Potter have been reckoning with this for the past few years after the author outed herself as a rabid transphobe whose world appears to be a stagnant rock. Since it's simply impossible for the Harry Potter author to re-evaluate her repugnant beliefs and change her mind, fans need to make the decision whether the still-living beneficiary of a lucrative franchise ought to get any more of their money, which ultimately will be and has been used to affect the state of human rights in the UK and around the world. 

Why am I bringing Harry Potter into this? I think when we reach adulthood, we might not read as much as we did when we were younger. We don't have the time, and we're not being forced to in school. For some readers, Harry Potter might have been the last, longest, or most memorable book series they've ever read. Also, I think when we grow up with a series like Harry Potter or Wheel of Time that is so engaging and formative, we look back on it with the rose-colored glasses of nostalgia. I think that's what might be happening with the Wheel of Time series for some readers. 

While Wheel of Time has some elements I struggle with, those issues might be largely benign to another reader. And while those issues might reveal the biases of the author, the author in this case is dead. However, reading Wheel of Time, written by a dead white man and a still-living white man, takes time away from seeking out newer, better works written by authors of color. 

Since I am this far into the series, I will likely continue. I have 2 books left that were 100% written by Robert Jordan, and then the last 3 books are written by Brandon Sanderson, who took up the series after Jordan's death. Last year I read Sanderson's Mistborn trilogy, and I felt he wrote combat well and his characters were complex and compelling. 

Let people enjoy things in 2022

For as much as I just complained about this silly book series, I really don't have any complaints with those who read it and love it and see no problems with it. I don't ascribe any moral failings to those who want to read Harry Potter or Wheel of Time over and over again until they die (though I might recommend that they maybe try reading something else - just once!) As we continue to experience ongoing trauma as a country and as human beings, we ought to take moments of joy and comfort where we can get it, so long as it does not harm others.

One last letter to Robert, on Matt Haig's "The Midnight Library"

I put Wheel of Time aside in late 2020 to read some other books. The Midnight Library by Matt Haig has been a divisive selection among my colleagues and friends: Some people really like it, and others really hate it. I facilitated a book club at work on this book in 2021. This letter spoils the whole book, so skip this post if you're planning on reading The Midnight Library. Also, trigger warning for talk of suicide.

Dear Robert,

My short hiatus from Wheel of Time has turned into a longer return to reading normal books! I realize I haven’t written to you in a while, and now it’s Thanksgiving eve. So I figured I’d write to you about The Midnight Library finally.

“The Midnight Library” is about a woman named Nora whose cat dies, then she loses her dead-end job at a music shop. She used to swim, and was competitive enough to be striving to swim in the olympics. After that, she was in a band called The Labyrinths with her brother. She had panic attacks, so she quit the band. Then, she was with a guy named Dan whose dream it was to open a pub in the English countryside. She was engaged to him, and broke off the engagement when her mother died of cancer. Her friend, Izzy, invited her to go to Australia and work on a whale-watching boat. Nora abandons those plans because she wants to tend to her parents’ graves, and her relationship with Izzy deteriorates.

Nora regrets everything about her life and decides she wants to die. She takes a bunch of antidepressants with alcohol and ends up at the Midnight Library, a place between life and death where people go to assess their regrets, try on new alternative lives, and determine whether they want to live or die. A woman who looks like her school librarian gives her different books, all titled “My Life.” Nora reads the book and is swept away to live the life written in the pages.

The first life she tries on is one where she marries her former fiance, Dan, and opens a pub in the English countryside with him. She thought that she would have been happier marrying him and regretted canceling the wedding. In this version of her life, she finds out that Dan becomes an alcoholic and opens a pub just to have an endless supply of free booze. He has cheated on her in this life, but wants to have a baby with her. She remembers Dan opposing her time in her band, and when her band was offered a record deal, he says their relationship would not endure her rise to stardom. He seems to take offense to her having self-worth and intelligence, and she takes issue that he never had to be flexible about her dreams. She returns to the Midnight Library no longer regretting her broken engagement.

At this point, the book kind of reminded me of “A Christmas Carol” or “It’s a Wonderful Life” where someone looks back on their life and re-examines their role in the world. My pre-guess at this point was that Nora was going to flout the expectations of this type of story and the story would end with her deciding she’d be better off dead anyway. My second guess is that she would whittle away her regrets one by one until she decided on the part of her life that was right for her, with the understanding that life would never be simple or perfectly happy, but that part of life is learning to cope with unhappiness in a healthier way. My more specific guess, given that Nora chooses to live, is that she would decide to rekindle her relationship with her friend Izzy and move to Australia.

The other note I had at this point is that I was really happy to be hearing Carey Mulligan’s voice reading this book. You might recognize her because she was in an iconic episode of Doctor Who called “Blink.” She’s a really good actress, and I really need to watch more movies she’s in. However, she tends to star in very sad movies. 

Anyway, Nora does pick a life where she goes to Australia. Shortly after she gets there, Izzy dies in a car crash. At that point, there was nothing keeping her there, and Nora realized more than ever that she had a habit of latching on to the lives of other people and making their dreams her dreams. Nora lives another life where she commits to swimming, goes to the olympics and then becomes a motivational speaker. It’s the dream of her father, but it doesn’t suit her either.

The final life before the book goes off the rails is when she decides to go to Svalbard and study climate change as a glaciologist. There, she meets a man named Hugo who is what he calls a “slider,” someone between life and death who is experiencing different types of lives to determine what he wants. Hugo says his midnight library takes the form of a video store, where his dead uncle gives him videos to watch. He says he doesn’t want to pick a life because he is having too much fun living different lives. They talk about quantum mechanics and theories of multiverses before Nora is sent back to the library. 

Nora then takes Hugo’s advice and lives every sort of different life imaginable, and not just the ones where she is successful and happy. After that, she realizes that in living all of these different lives, she’s losing sight of what she actually wants and refocuses her efforts on the task of finding a life worth living.

Her last life is where she marries a man named Ash, becomes a philosophy professor at Cambridge, has a daughter named Molly, and is extremely content and wants for nothing. She returns to Bedford, where she was living before she attempted suicide, and discovers that her elderly neighbor has been put into a retirement home against his will, the piano student she used to teach is in trouble with the police because he never pursued music, and the music store Nora worked at has gone out of business. Nora might be living her best life, but she feels like she hasn’t earned it, and all of the people in Bedford who benefitted from her presence there are living very differently because she was not in their lives. 

Nora is returned to the library and becomes agitated because she thought she wanted to live that life. However, she realizes that she didn’t actually want to be there because she hadn’t felt like she earned her accomplishments by jumping into the life after she had worked hard for them. She decides she truly wants to live and the library bursts into flames. She is returned to her original life where she rushes to her elderly neighbor’s home and tells him to call an ambulance before collapsing. She reunites with her brother at the hospital and she begins to live her original life with the knowledge of all of the other lives she lived while in the midnight library. 

This book really resonated with me because in the past year I’ve been thinking a lot about how my life would be different if I had made different decisions. I am curious about the other lives I might have if I had made different choices, but mostly I’m grateful to be living the life I have now. 

Wheel of Time letter No. 13: The last of these... for now

What are these letters? During some of the major lockdown parts of the coronavirus pandemic in 2020, I wrote to my friend, Robert, about my experiences reading the Wheel of Time series. These letters are slightly edited and abridged for this blog, mainly to remove personal information. This letter was sent in mid-October 2020.

Dear Robert,

I’m 7 hours into Path of Daggers, and here’s what’s happening:

Elayne, Nynaeve, Aviendha and all of the Kin (the unsanctioned Aes Sedai in Ebou Dar) some of the rebel Aes Sedai from Salidar, and the seafolk, all have the bowl of the winds and try to change the weather by linking. It doesn’t seem to work. Then, the Seanchan show up and try to capture all of them, but they flee through a gateway back to Andor, I think. Elayne pulls at one of the threads to the gateway and it explodes, killing a bunch of Seanchan. On the surface, this part of the plot was very exciting, but it was full of the typical sniping and pettiness that Robert Jordan likes to infuse his female characters with.

Morgase and company run into Perrin on the road. Faile takes Morgase on as a servant. One of Morgase’s guards comes close to revealing who they are, but Lini, Morgase’s lady in waiting, stops him from divulging the truth! Another dumb thing that happens is that Lini encourages Perrin to find someone to marry Morgase and her guard Tallanvor. She tells Perrin to make it happen before Morgase really knows what’s going on or can even consent, which is just really gross.

It’s pretty amazing that I’m 7 hours into this book and these are the only two things that happen. A LOT of time is spent with large groups of people together, but Robert Jordan chooses to use that time describing what everyone is wearing, every last facial expression, how people look at one another, the times people murmur inaudibly to each other out of earshot, and in the case of Perrin, how everyone smells. It is exhausting. 

Wheel of Time letter No. 12: Are all of these threats really necessary?

Gotta put a big TW here: Suicidal ideation, rape, torture, domestic violence, hazing, etc. This letter was from October 12, 2020.

Dear Robert,

I’m 5 hours from the end of A Crown of Swords and here’s what’s happening (it’s a lot, so bear with me -- sorry this is long:)

Mat tells Birgitte that he saved Nynaeve and Elayne from the Black Ajah a few books ago. Mat and Birgitte also are both aware that they both have some weird memories from other heroes in the past. Both Birgitte and Aviendha agree that Nynaeve and Elayne owe Mat an apology and a debt of gratitude, even though he behaves like a tool, so they try to be nicer to him. 

They go to Mat’s inn and apologize to him. After they leave, Mistress Anan, the owner of the inn, intercepts them and takes them to a “circle” of secret Aes Sedai, called the Kin. There are a whole bunch of odd threats the women make to each other before the woman agrees to take Elayne and Nynaeve to the hideout of the runaway/failed Aes Sedai hopefuls. There, they are threatened some more. The leader of the Kin, whose name I forget, tells Elayne and Nynaeve that they will only help them find the bowl of the winds if they go to a farm to work for a while. They also don’t believe that Nynaeve and Elayne are Aes Sedai and insist that they will refuse to help them unless they stop lying. They also say that if Nynaeve and Elayne refuse to go to the farm and work their way up the hierarchy of the Kin, the Kin will circulate descriptions of them and tell everyone that they’re criminals or sluts or some nonsense. It’s an impossible situation, where everyone is awful to each other. 

It’s here, also, where most of the awful stuff I’ve already ranted about happens. Morgase is tortured by the leader of the questioners for the Children of the Light, then raped by Eamon Valda, the new captain-commander of the Children. The Seanchan invade the fortress and say that if Morgase doesn’t hand control of Andor over to the Seanchan, she’ll be a slave. Then, they make the former Panarch of Tarabon, Amathera, dance for Morgase and Suroth (the Seanchan leader). Morgase contemplates suicide and then resolves to abdicate the throne of Andor.

The Queen of Ebou Dar rapes Mat, and it’s played as a joke. Then, Mat goes to a costume party with Bergitte, the queen’s son, and a bunch of other people. You already know how I feel about this.

Then, Elayne receives a letter from Jachim Carridin, saying her mother is alive and in the fortress for the Children of the Light. This section, again, shows how slowly information travels in this universe when people can’t just converse instantaneously with each other. By the time Elayne receives news that her mother lives, she’s already almost accepted that her mother has died. Even the information Carridin sends Elayne is wrong, as he has not yet received word that Pedron Niall was assassinated. The weird thing that happens in this scene is that Elayne pulls together the Kin and the Aes Sedai from Salidar, and they all blindly listen to her, even though she’s a teenager and they’re centuries old. Elayne promises that the Kin will be welcomed back to the tower under Egwene’s leadership. Earlier in the book, Siuan was telling Egwene that the Aes Sedai can sense the power in each other, and will naturally defer to those stronger in the power like a weird hive-mind, and this is what happens here. 

We find out that Moghedian has been mentally imprisoned by Arangar and then by Mordrin, who is actually Padan Fain in disguise. She tries to kill Nynaeve by using balefire on a boat she’s on. Nynaeve almost drowns, but Lan saves her and they have a very dramatic reunion where Lan behaves like a stoic zombie and Nynaeve slaps him around before telling him they’re going to get married. It would have been sweet if not for the domestic violence committed in broad daylight. 

Rand and Min talk about how they had sex. Rand is like, “I’m a horrible monster” and Min is like, “Nah, it was consensual and we’re adults.” Rand tells Min he loves her with the caveat that she accepts that he’s in love with two other women. Rand is just not interesting enough for Min to have to tolerate this! Min is actually a really interesting character, and I hate to think she’s selling herself short. I feel like I harp on this a lot. It’s just when a male author feels the need to attach his female characters to men, as he did with Gawin and Elayne and Nynaeve and Lan, it shows he doesn’t think that women are fully able to live without men!

I’ve been thinking about whether or not I want to continue with this series! I just found some of the plot points in this so distasteful and insensitive. Not just that, but I feel like Robert Jordan is near incapable of writing realistic women. I have the next couple books to go, at least. Perhaps after either this book or the next one, I’ll listen to something else as a kind of intermission. I do have some more modern scifi/fantasy I could listen to.

Wheel of Time letter No. 11: Cadsuane is the best character + #agency4Min

 Dear Robert,

I’m more than halfway through A Crown of Swords, and here’s what’s happening:

Mirella, one of the Aes Sedai, reveals to Egwene that Lan has returned and is her warder. Egwene, Siuan and some of the other sisters argue about how his bond was passed to her without his consent from the now-dead Moiraine. Robert Jordan again compares this to rape, which, again, is just a super extreme and awful comparison. It’s established that warders whose Aes Sedai have died are eaten up by grief until they die. Egwene tells Lan to go to Ebou Dar where Nynaeve is and be her warder, which I totally called about 4 books ago when Moiraine started talking about her own death.  

After Lan leaves for Ebou Dar and Nynaeve, the perspective switches to Mat at a horse race. I can tell Robert Jordan LOVED writing this scene. There were SO many horses! It’s revealed that Mat’s father made him a “good judge of horse flesh” and so Mat is able to bet on his own horse, whose name I believe is Winds, and is ridden by Oliver, the orphan Mat has kind of adopted. Mat’s horse wins, of course, and he gets A BUNCH of money. While watching the horse races, Mat sees a dark friend who once tried to kill him and Rand in a stable while they were on the road in either the first or second book. Mat pursues her through the streets of Ebou Dar and to a mansion. He stops along the way and purchases a ring with a mysterious stone. It’s probably evil or cursed, but Mat doesn’t really pay attention because he’s too busy watching the dark friend. He pursues her to a mansion that is being rented by Jaichim Carridin, a dark friend and also a Child of the Light who serves Sammael. 

While Mat is out in the street gazing up at the mansion, the perspective shifts to inside the mansion where Carridin is speaking to the dark friend who almost killed Mat and Rand. He is then visited by Sammael who tells him that he needs to find Elayne and a cache of ter’angreal hidden in the city. 

Mat runs to the queen’s palace and tries to explain that dark friends are in the city and the children of the light are involved. The queen flirts with Mat and then says he and her son would be good friends. They’re both about the same age. The flirting is creepy, but it was kind of sweet for Mat to get a good friend, though probably another ploy to humanize Mat. He remains my least-favorite character.

Rand gets a visit from Cadsuane, a legendary and adventurous Aes Sedai who has been in and out of retirement since the Aiel War. She behaves rudely to Rand because she’s encountered men who can channel before.  He throws a temper tantrum when she lets on that she knows about Lews Therrin’s voice in his head, and pitches everyone out of his throne room. Cadsuane then gathers the Aes Sedai in the palace and grills them about what has been happening with Rand. She does not answer any questions about why she is there. Rand fires Berelain as regent of Caemlyn and installs Dobraine in her stead. With his increasing hostility and mistrust of Aes Sedai (and women in general,) the optics of this decision are not great. I think Rand gives the reason that Berelain has received assassination attempts and he doesn’t want to see her hurt, but it’s just another way Robert Jordan others women and decreases their agency. Dobraine might get death threats, but that’s fine because he’s a man! The other disgusting part about this is that Robert Jordan takes EVERY opportunity to talk about Berelain’s looks, and he also reveals that Rand gave Berelain’s dismissal in writing rather than showing her respect for the work she’s done in person, because he didn’t want to risk being dumbstruck by Berelain’s boobs. This entire scene is preposterously antifeminist on many levels and really shows the failings of this supposed “hero” pre-ordained to be a leader of men. Truly appalling.

Later, Min comes to visit Rand and says Coulavaere, the woman who Rand kicked off the throne and exiled to be a farmer, has hung herself. Min and Rand probably have sex, but it was one of those “they started ripping each other’s clothes off and the scene ended” kind of scenes. On Min’s way to visit Rand, she went over all of the reasons why she shouldn’t be in love with him, but was nonetheless still in love with him and she’s wearing high heels because it “makes Rand smile.” I’m not sure why Robert Jordan continues to force his female characters to make excuses for his male characters’ mediocrity, or change themselves to suit men! Min deserves better! #agency4Min

I don’t have a whole lot of other insight on this stretch of the book because while stuff is happening, it’s not terribly meaningful. Robert Jordan has had a scene here or there with some of the Forsaken scheming, but they’ve been scheming for about 4 books now and nothing has really happened with Sammael or Graendal. There’s some nonsense about the Shaido using a cube to communicate with some bad guys, and that’s about it.

Wheel of Time letter No. 10: What's happening with Egwene?

What are these letters? In 2020, during the coronavirus pandemic, I listened to some of the Wheel of Time series on audiobook and wrote letters to my friend Robert about them. I'm putting them on this blog now to share my feelings on these books. This letter references dates long past, and was sent to Robert on Sept. 29, 2020.

Dear Robert,

I’m 10 hours into A Crown of Swords, and here’s what’s happening:

Egwene is having some trouble with the Aes Sedai. The sitters for the rebel Aes Sedai support going to the White Tower to depose Elaida. Egwene is fully aware they’re using her as a puppet and a scapegoat: For now, Egwene represents all of their interests, but if they fail to take back the White Tower, Egwene will take the fall for their failure, leaving the older and more experienced women to continue with their political machinations without consequence. Siuan gives her Aes Sedai etiquette lessons and is hell-bent on making Egwene an even better Amyrlin than she was. Nicola, a novice, and Areina, a woman training to be an archer with Birgitte, try to blackmail Egwene, saying they knew Nynaeve and Elayne were pretending to be Aes Sedai when they were travelling from Tanchico. Egwene rebuffs them by threatening violence, the only way women know how to communicate with each other in this universe.

Anyway, Egwene meets with the Aiel wise ones in tel’aran’rhiod, where they give her some motivation/information on what to do with the Aes Sedai. They encourage her to come back to them instead of being Amyrlin, but she declines. Egwene mentions that the Aes Sedai are loyal to the White Tower, above all else, even countries, and that it would be impossible for the Aes Sedai to swear fealty to Rand, even though that’s exactly what some of them have done. This part made me think about what exactly the mission of the Aes Sedai is. When Siuan was Amyrlin, her goal was to find the Dragon Reborn and help him on his quest to defeat the Dark One, but she tried to carry out this goal with as few people knowing as possible. What exactly is the Aes Sedai’s mission statement as a whole? When Egwene talks about being loyal to the White Tower above loyalty to one’s own country, what does she mean?

Today you sent me a link to an article about the things that the showrunner for the Wheel of Time series is going to change about the books, and I was very excited about a lot of them! Especially when he said, “I prefer polyamory to polygamy!” I’m really happy that he’s making the story more truly modern-day feminist, and that he’s going to include some LGBTQ characters (hopefully!) Wheel of Time is another one of those books that just isn’t gay enough!

Also today was the day I got my audible credit! I got “Crossroads of Twilight,” which means by the end of January, I’ll have the rest of the books! I hope you continue to enjoy these letters because I am enjoying writing them.

Wheel of Time letter No. 9: How Robert Jordan avoids writing actual dialogue

Dear Robert,

I’m almost 6 hours into A Crown of Swords and here’s what’s happening:

A lot of people stand around looking at each other after the battle at Dumai’s Wells, and that was about 4 of the 6 hours I listened to. Robert Jordan writes in third-person limited perspective, where he tells the story through the eyes of one character. Unfortunately, that character doesn’t always have the best insight into what’s going on. 

First, he talks a bit about Sevanna, one of the leaders of the Shaido, who survived the battle and fled. She’s had 3 husbands before, and wants to take Rand as her husband so she can control him as the Car’a’carn (the ultimate Aiel chief.)

Then, some stuff happens with the Children of the Light. Pedron Niall is murdered and Eamon Valda takes over. Things aren’t looking good for Queen Morgase!

Then, the perspective shifts to Perrin, who does not have the best grasp of what’s happening, but can smell everyone. He spends about 3 hours of the book talking about the words that Perrin can parse out from conversations held at a distance, or what people smell like (so that you can tell if they’re afraid or angry or outraged or whatever.) This is a unique perspective, but it doesn’t offer the best insight into what’s happening. Perrin isn’t exactly eavesdropping, so there’s no tension around whether or not he might be caught. It’s mostly him watching people hold conversations he can’t hear. For 3 hours. 

Perrin’s sense of smell then becomes completely useless when everyone goes to Cairhien to depose a woman named Coulavaere, who has put herself on the throne while Rand was away. At first I mistook this character for Couladin, who died suddenly because Mat killed him at the end of Fires of Heaven. Anyway, Rand confronts Coulavaere and breaks her crown. Then, he exiles her to work on a farm for the rest of her life, even though the consequence for treason is death. He just can’t tolerate being responsible for the death of a woman.

On the trip to Cairhien, Perrin is worried about Faile because the wise ones told him she was fine. What they didn’t tell him was that she threw her lot in with Coulavaere! My prediction is that she’s being a spy. Once Coulavaere is safely off the throne, Perrin will tell Faile how cross he is with her, she’ll tell him he can’t tell her what to do, and they will continue being an example of the sort of toxic, contentious relationship Robert Jordan thinks is normal! On the group’s trip to Cairhien, Perrin was thinking about some quaint Two Rivers proverb that went something like, “Being married to a woman is like being trapped in a hornet’s nest: No matter how you move, you’ll get stung!” I feel like these flippant sayings seep into Robert Jordan’s prose and widen the chasm between men and women, leaving no room for understanding. Perrin thinks Faile is some kind of foreign, alien being, and doesn’t make an effort to really speak to her and ask her questions about how she is feeling. He relies on his sense of smell to discern her emotions, and then ends up even more confused. Don’t get me wrong, Faile suffers from her own faults. She seems too immature and one-dimensional to be ready for marriage. I wonder what kind of impression Faile and Perrin’s relationship left on you when you were young? Did you find it as annoying as I do? Or was young Robert like, “You’re right, Perrin, women ARE confusing!” 

Wheel of Time letter No. 8: Starting Crown of Swords

Dear Robert,

I’ve finished Lord of Chaos and started Crown of Swords, and here’s what’s happening.

Elayne and Nynaeve went to Ebou Dar to talk to the queen about the ter’angrial they saw in a dream. The queen says she knows where it is, but the part of town it’s in is very dangerous.

Loial comes back to Caemlyn and meets up with Rand and Perrin. 

Some of the Aes Sedai from the tower are in Caemlyn as well and some Aiel make an attempt on the life of one of them. The Aes Sedai survive, but a bunch of them go to the palace to try to intimidate Rand into loosening some restrictions he put in place. He refuses. Then, some more Aes Sedai show up in Caemlyn, bringing their number to 13, enough to overpower and control a man who can channel. 

This whole book, Lews Therrin has been causing a ruckus in Rand’s head, trying to grab the source and just generally screeching and whining about stuff. He seems to be in denial about being dead, and Rand is afraid Lews Therrin will take control of him and use him to destroy things.

Anyway, the Aes Sedai overpower Rand and stuff him into a chest and torture him on the way to taking him to the White Tower. Perrin realizes something is wrong and assembles an army to chase down the Aes Sedai and get Rand back from them. Meanwhile Egwene rallies the rebels in Salidar to depose Elaida. Also, Masrim Taim shows up with the Asha’man to kill some stuff. There’s a big battle that is not told in any real detail. Robert Jordan is big on military planning, but depicting the execution of battle plans, much like depicting meaningful interpersonal relations, is not his strong suit. Before I knew it, everyone on Rand’s team was cheering because they won. Eventually the rebels, the Aiel and Perrin’s army are  successful in saving Rand. 

One of the grossest parts is where the Aes Sedai stuff Rand in the chest and leave him there for days in the heat, so there’s a layer of sweat covering the bottom of the chest and Rand smells pretty terrible! Nevertheless, Min, who is still madly in love with Rand, wants to be near and around him right after he’s freed from the chest. I can’t imagine how awful he must smell.

Another really dumb thing happens earlier in the book in Cairhein. I had mentioned before that Rand had placed Berelain in charge in Cairhein. In book 3, Berelain tries to come on to Rand and he rejects her. Then, still in book 3,  she tries to seduce Perrin, who is already committed to Faile. Berelain again tries to ensnare Perrin in Lord of Chaos. Perrin is still deeply in love - and married to! - Faile. A long stretch of the story, told from Perrin’s point of view, shows Perrin trying to spend all his time with Faile and avoid Berelain. Perrin senses Faile by smell, and can smell her jealousy and disappointment. Then, he tries to stay away from both Faile and Berelain and go hunting with his one Aiel buddy. The most annoying part of this stretch is that at no point did he think it was a good idea to sit down with Faile and explain what was happening with Berelain! Faile’s jealousy was unwarranted because she and Perrin are in a committed relationship, but also communication is key! Faile and Perrin really need to go to couples’ therapy. Is Robert Jordan capable of writing healthy, committed relationships?

The last thing I’ll say about Lord of Chaos is that Moghedian finally outlives her purpose and Arangar, one of the forsaken who have been reincarnated into the world, comes to collect her. 

While Lord of Chaos had some interesting plot elements, and I’m very much attached to the characters, it was probably the most disturbing book in this series yet. 

The beginning of Crown of Swords starts with Elaida in the White Tower, grown truly mad with power, putting scheme on her agenda. I know your buddy Frank felt this mechanic in Wheel of Time was kind of annoying, but I thought it was interesting how the audience sees her making plans without knowing what has happened with Rand and the Aes Sedai from the tower. I think I’ve said this before, but I enjoy the way the reader gets to be omniscient while the characters bumble around with the knowledge they have because of the slow and muddled way information is disseminated in this universe.

Wheel of Time letter No. 7: Perrin & Faile

Dear Robert,

I’m 7 hours away from the end of Lord of Chaos and here’s what’s happening:

Min makes it to Caemlyn to meet with Rand, and nearly swoons at the sight of him because she’s so in love with him. She senses an aura from him that some Aes Sedai mean him harm, and she doesn’t know if it’s from the rebel Aes Sedai in Salidar or the red sisters in the white tower. Rand goes to the farm where he’s keeping the men who can channel and notices how much the farm has changed. The recruits are now calling the commune “The Black Tower,” which is totally not sinister at all! He sets up a promotional structure similar to the White Tower’s novice-accepted-Aes Sedai, only his is soldier-dedicated-Asha’man (which means “guardian” in the old tongue.) 

The White Tower Aes Sedai are scheming some more. Verin and Alanna are heading back to the White Tower with a bunch of girls from the Two Rivers who have the power to channel. I think there are some other Aes Sedai scheming with them. Some of them, without saying it out loud, equate Alanna’s bonding Rand as her warder to rape. It’s mentioned twice, and I found the use of that word a little spicy for what it was describing. Alanna talks about being able to feel Rand’s unhealed wound, and suggests it’s extremely painful, even though she can only feel a fraction of his pain. 

Mat is up to some nonsense in Salidar. He has a bunch of Aes Sedai offer to bond him as a warder to them. This sequence was kind of exasperating because Mat is one of my least favorite characters and A BUNCH of women were throwing themselves at him. Egwene sends Mat, Elayne and Aviendha to Ebou Dar to look for a ter’angrial. Mat behaves like an ass, and when he’s not behaving like an ass, he acts entitled to respect from women simply because he’s not being an asshole. I truly cannot stand the scenes with him in them.

We haven’t heard from Perrin in a while, and it turns out he’s in Caemlyn! He took Faile and a bunch of his servants and soldiers and rode for two months (or 800 pages). Faile’s father, Bashir, is one of Rand’s generals. Robert Jordan is still writing fantasy set in a theoretical matriarchy, but somehow old fathers still sit down with their sons-in-law to ask what their intentions are with their daughters! Tale as old as time! Bashir threatens to kill Perrin if he ever hurts Faile, and says that women need to be treated like gentle doves! Then the two go to see Faile and her mother, and they’re both literally slapping each other silly. Faile’s mother tells Perrin that women need a strong man with a firm hand, and that’s what Bashir had done to her! (alluding to physical violence and how she had appreciated it. Robert Jordan isn’t specific.) Perrin says he lets Faile do what she wants because he wants to see her smile and that he has no interest in hurting her. This part was super cringey! It’s possible Robert Jordan was drawing on his own personal experiences with gender dynamics in marriage between one generation and the next. Perrin’s willingness to see Faile happy shows he wants to break the cycle of violence and the need to control one’s partner.

Overall, this stretch of the book felt like a wind-up to the final bit of action. There were plenty of descriptions of horses, traveling, wry glances and punch-drinking.

Wheel of Time letter No. 6: The weirdest spanking

Dear Robert,

I'm about 12 hours from the end of Lord of Chaos and here's what's happening:

Rand sends Mat to Salidar, along with Aviendha, to capture Elayne and bring her back to Caemlyn so she can take her rightful place as queen of Andor. 

Meanwhile, after Egwene admits to the Wise Ones that she was lying about being Aes Sedai, she says she has “toh” to them. It’s part of the Aiel’s system of ji’e’toh, a sort of way of keeping track what sorts of “honor” everyone is owed, and admitting when you’ve erred so that you can make amends. Some of the Wise Ones whip Egwene with a belt, a scene that is supremely messed up. Again, Robert Jordan does not describe the beating in detail (it’s his strategy with rape and torture as well,) but he alludes to various details after the fact. There’s something ultra weird about a teenager (it’s later revealed Egwene is “not yet 17”) asking for corporal punishment, getting it, and then telling the people who just beat her that she’s grateful for their teaching and she’ll miss them when she leaves, and everyone acting like nothing had ever happened. I’m going to admit that I was extremely disturbed by this! I’m really hoping that when the new co-author takes over later in the series, he is not nearly as obsessed with spanking teenagers. The violence the women show in this book to other women, while complaining from time to time about how violent men are, is really bizarre.

Egwene then travels through tel’aran’rhiod in the flesh to get to Salidar and meet with the Aes Sedai. There, they appoint her Amyrlin Seat. Egwene’s initiation to Amyrlin Seat was disturbing because A LOT of women stripped to the waist to “prove” they were all women. The degradation at the hands of the Wise Ones, and then the Aes Sedai, was just gross and weird coming from a male author. It was pretty clear that the group of Aes Sedai wanted to remain equally in power and simply have Egwene act as their puppet and scapegoat if something goes wrong. Instead, Egwene shakes things up a little by refusing to recite the speech they write for her in full, and elevating Elayne and Nynaeve to full sisterhood, despite Nynaeve being unable to channel without anger. Egwene also learns about Elayne and Nynaeve holding Moghedian prisoner.

I’ve always found the female perspectives in this series more interesting, simply because more STUFF happens, and it’s less about military planning. But man, this stretch of Egwene stuff was really hard to listen to.

Wheel of Time letter No. 5: Relationships without substance

Dear Robert, 

I’m 15 hours from the end of Lord of Chaos, and here’s what’s happening:

Egwene and Gawin have started a relationship out of thin air. She tries to figure out what the tower Aes Sedai are doing in Cairhien, while advising Rand on what to do about them. Rand keeps getting missives from the Atha’an Miere (the sea folk) and ignoring them. Egwene tries to visit them, but they kick her off of their boat. 

Egwene then accompanies the Wise Ones to tel’aran’rhiod, where they meet the rebel Aes Sedai. They summon her to Salidar. Rand is in tel’aran’rhiod and eavesdropping on the women, and he finds out where Elayne is staying. Egwene admits to lying to the wise ones about being a full Aes Sedai.

Nynaeve has healed Loghain, Siuan and Lianna. Siuan is upset because she has not been healed to her full power. Nynaeve is overwhelmed because the yellow ajah are demanding both that she demonstrate her abilities, and work on breaking down her block. The rest of the Aes Sedai debate their loyalties, split between wanting to re-gentle Loghain and support Rand. 

One interesting thing about this part is that Siuan talks to Nynaeve and Elayne about the weighing and measuring that happens between the Aes Sedai. It sounds less like a sorority and more like a gang or a cult, where arbitrary factors make a woman worth more or less to the others. The more the Aes Sedai have “screen time” in this book, the more sinister they seem. I don’t know if this is foreshadowing or a red herring.

Another weird thing about this book is that the characters are completely hellbent on being static, no matter what happens to them. Nynaeve is punished to scrub pots after speaking back to one of the Aes Sedai. After she discovers a cure for stilling, something literally everyone said could not be done, she is still required to fulfill her punishment, and the Aes Sedai still treat her like garbage. She wants to leave Salidar, and I don’t blame her!

Relationships in this book still remain without substance, especially the one between Egwene and Gawin. If I tried to start a relationship with every man I imagined I’d kissed in a dream, it would be a weird, delusional time! I think if Robert Jordan would write more realistic characters, it would make the world-building and narrative setup seem a little less plodding. Even though I listened to 7 more hours of this book, it seems like not a lot has happened between the actual characters. However, there are plenty of descriptions of clothing and rooms! You know, the REAL things readers want to know about!

Wheel of Time letter No. 4: A culture of hazing

Dear Robert,

I’m about 21 hours into Lord of Chaos (halfway!) and here’s what’s happening:

Elayne has created enough ter’angrials for a team of rebel Aes Sedai to enter Tel’aran’rhiod and speak with the Aiel Wise Ones. The Aes Sedai feel entitled to know the information the Wise Ones know, and because the Aes Sedai have had the power to advise royalty for centuries and be kingmakers for their own interests, they’re not used to being told no. 

This plot sequence was very much “bitchy women are bitches to each other.” I don’t know if this shows a misunderstanding of women on Robert Jordan’s part, or if it shows his insight into how people, no matter their gender, behave when they have power and feel entitled to more power. I think it further illustrates the Aes Sedai’s culture of hazing, and how Nynaeve and Elayne are now becoming predisposed to pass that unsupportive, antagonistic culture on to future generations of women. It probably says less about internalized misogyny (although that’s still part of it I think) than it does about a generic sorority atmosphere, indoctrination into a group, and the systemic issues that arise when a group clings to power for too long. The Aes Sedai get trapped in a nightmare because they think they know better than the people who have more experience in the world of dreams. The odd part about this, is that the Aes Sedai don’t seem to learn from this and instead remain static characters. While they were injured, they were healed quickly and therefore didn’t face any consequences from their actions.

I’m getting some sinister vibes from both Aes Sedai parties. My pre-guess is that the Aes Sedai will be completely dismantled by the end of the entire series, but maybe I’m meta-reading it because a lot of fantasy novel plots dismantle existing, broken structures. However, the optics of such a plot would be pretty bad: Let’s crush this group of women in favor of what the chosen-one man wants! Actually women are bad at being in charge of society after all!

Nynaeve continues to study how to heal stilling, but she’s forced to abandon her efforts temporarily in favor of breaking through her own block that prevents her from channeling. She’s avoided working with the Aes Sedai helping her because she doesn’t want anyone to find out she’s been keeping Moghedian as a source of power. 

The Children of the Light are scheming and decide to start various rumors to discredit Rand. This sequence shows how information is disseminated and how people operating in bad faith use that to their advantage.

Rand runs into some Aes Sedai who are taking novices from Emmond’s Field to Tar Volen. One of them bonds him as her warder, and in turn he shields her from the true source. He terrorizes some of the novices and then apologizes. 

A “bubble of evil” bursts near the rebel Aes Sedai settlement, sentient furniture attacks everyone, and it seems like Nynaeve has gotten over her block (but maybe not.) 

After the attack on the rebel Aes Sedai settlement happens, Nynaeve and Elayne try to tell the Aes Sedai about one of their dreams, where they found a bowl that can control the weather. 

Then, probably one of the most boring stretches of the book happens. Rand goes to a science fair where a bunch of people are doing experiments to advance technology in his realm. Some guy warns Rand about the bowl.  Rand has given Berelain, a woman who once tried to seduce him in Tear, leadership of Cairhien. The most annoying part of this stretch is hearing about all of the different minor nobles who show up to meet with Rand and how they all glance at each other. I think at least 3 hours of this part of the book has just been people looking at each other. 

Finally, Rand meets with some Ogier, all of whom know Loial. They go to Shadar Logoth through a gateway Rand makes, and that’s where I stopped! Besides things actually happening, an interesting part of this section is where Rand makes the Aiel bring him a bunch of maps, and he uses the annihilation of the steddings as a way to track the Dark One’s progress in the world. I would say that this, coupled with the constant depictions of weather, might make this seem like a metaphor for climate change, but this book was published in 1995, and I don’t think we (as a society, let alone Robert Jordan) were thinking much about that yet.